it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
