was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The power of my boobs compel you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
