mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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