the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
