Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
