feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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