My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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