He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
