yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
