You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
