New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
