Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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