I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
