I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
