why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
