Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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