I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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