Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
