i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
