I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
