I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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