i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize