I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
