What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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