Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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