watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
