Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
