So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
