Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
