What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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