There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
