no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
