the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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