she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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