I wannas sexs uuuuu
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
