i just google imaged poop.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
