the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Enjoy the penises
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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