I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
