don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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