Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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