we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize