So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize