He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
