just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
