then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
