Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
