omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
