just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
