Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
