Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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