Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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