so explain again why im purple
no
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
