these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize