When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
