dude i'm inner monologue high
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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