that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
