i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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