yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
