he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
