around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
