stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
