The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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