I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
