: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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