I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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