I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
