ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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