Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
