She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
