so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
