Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
