Quick, to the slutcave!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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