She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
