Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
